Sexuality
Things have happened these past few days...the usual pointless mundane things that seem so important to the one who goes through them though!..like exmas..AARRRGGHH.. but today my blog finally has a point. And for the first time in my albeit short blogging journey have I actually "needed" to write a blog and have actualy seena point in it.
It happened like this- and all this was on the internet. A couple of days ago, a friend of mine after swearing me to secrecy told me that he was homosexual. When I look back on my reaction now I must say that i am most certainly impressed with my reaction. I might have thought that a situation like this would have freaked me out and leave me dazed and confused. But it din't... atleast at that point in time (looking back at it now) I was calm collected and if at all..curious.
How many times do we expect to react to the statement- "I am homosexual".
But what I suddenly realized is how extremely little I knew about homosexuality. No matter how many debates I might have floated the motion "Homosexuality should be legalized" or for that matter debated against it. No matter how many facts and figures I might know and have used on either side of the motion, I now suddenly realized how raw and miserably inhumane my knowledge was.
I spoke with him for a while, we spoke of kings and cabbages and all such things what exactly is not relevant here. For the first time in my life I actually wanted to know...what this is really about. Something that a hundred debates cant tell you. I had an exam the next day and it was late in the night so unfortunately we couldnt speak for long. It was surprisingly normal and easy between us. But I wondered...would it be that way with everyone?
How tough would life be?and is it unfairly so. It's not a matter of choice he said and I wondered how can something which is not a matter of choice be bad? How can it be unacceptable? I suppose the same way that once upon a time left handers were considered evil...(hence the word sinister) the same way black people were considered inferior?
For the first time, I'm looking at it from inside from where he stands (as best as I can). And I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult his life might be. I just wish the human race was not so judgemental, I wish they didnt pretend to know it all. Because the fact is that each time they were sure about something, it got proved wrong.
I am sure it cannot be difficult for human beings to accept that some men are attracted to women and some men to men (and vice versa). Had this been taught to us in our biology classes or incorporated in our grandmother's tales, people wouldnt at all give it a second thought. I would not be writing this blog today! Just goes to show how dumb we really are how controlled by inertia, how unable to think even slightly out of the box, how willing to satisfy rules and live life and how unwilling to push ourselves just that little bit more to undersatnd someone you at first dont.
I can fully well understand the reasons for it making people uncomfartbaly..psychological, sociologically its expicable and expected, but that does not make it understandable or justified.
The techinicalities of homosexuality can make this blog a book, but then thats exactly what i DONT wanna make it. This is not about a debatable subject it's about trying to understand, though it might seem difficult. I am not confused or dazed at what my friend told me I am merely confused and dazed by what the world might someday tell him. I can only hope that not just him but every person should be allowed to pursue their sexuality in peace.
"I believe you cant control or choose your sexuality"
-Affirmation ( Savage Garden )
Comments are much needed, most welcome and much appreciated!
It happened like this- and all this was on the internet. A couple of days ago, a friend of mine after swearing me to secrecy told me that he was homosexual. When I look back on my reaction now I must say that i am most certainly impressed with my reaction. I might have thought that a situation like this would have freaked me out and leave me dazed and confused. But it din't... atleast at that point in time (looking back at it now) I was calm collected and if at all..curious.
How many times do we expect to react to the statement- "I am homosexual".
But what I suddenly realized is how extremely little I knew about homosexuality. No matter how many debates I might have floated the motion "Homosexuality should be legalized" or for that matter debated against it. No matter how many facts and figures I might know and have used on either side of the motion, I now suddenly realized how raw and miserably inhumane my knowledge was.
I spoke with him for a while, we spoke of kings and cabbages and all such things what exactly is not relevant here. For the first time in my life I actually wanted to know...what this is really about. Something that a hundred debates cant tell you. I had an exam the next day and it was late in the night so unfortunately we couldnt speak for long. It was surprisingly normal and easy between us. But I wondered...would it be that way with everyone?
How tough would life be?and is it unfairly so. It's not a matter of choice he said and I wondered how can something which is not a matter of choice be bad? How can it be unacceptable? I suppose the same way that once upon a time left handers were considered evil...(hence the word sinister) the same way black people were considered inferior?
For the first time, I'm looking at it from inside from where he stands (as best as I can). And I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult his life might be. I just wish the human race was not so judgemental, I wish they didnt pretend to know it all. Because the fact is that each time they were sure about something, it got proved wrong.
I am sure it cannot be difficult for human beings to accept that some men are attracted to women and some men to men (and vice versa). Had this been taught to us in our biology classes or incorporated in our grandmother's tales, people wouldnt at all give it a second thought. I would not be writing this blog today! Just goes to show how dumb we really are how controlled by inertia, how unable to think even slightly out of the box, how willing to satisfy rules and live life and how unwilling to push ourselves just that little bit more to undersatnd someone you at first dont.
I can fully well understand the reasons for it making people uncomfartbaly..psychological, sociologically its expicable and expected, but that does not make it understandable or justified.
The techinicalities of homosexuality can make this blog a book, but then thats exactly what i DONT wanna make it. This is not about a debatable subject it's about trying to understand, though it might seem difficult. I am not confused or dazed at what my friend told me I am merely confused and dazed by what the world might someday tell him. I can only hope that not just him but every person should be allowed to pursue their sexuality in peace.
"I believe you cant control or choose your sexuality"
-Affirmation ( Savage Garden )
Comments are much needed, most welcome and much appreciated!
posted by inconsequential at 10:23 am
10 Comments:
Homosexuality...I always wondered how there are these movies or these books(the superhits n best-sellers) which say good(normal) things about Gay people but somehow its always the protagonist's friend who's gay and not the protagonist himself..The protagonist is as good as good can be abt it...but still!!(quite clearly its coz of the target audience)
The obvious point coming out from the same is tht ppl from even the so called open society r willing to be immensely supportive but cant ever imagine themselves in that position..the thot is still very much dreadful to ppl
I guess it is but natural...coz we are so heterosexual(verb)..that we cant imagine ourselves with a person of the same sex!
The closed society(opp to open!!)
of course r still stuck with the old notion of it being a religious crime
Now from crime it did transform over the ages into an issue of great ridicule(now this is an itermediate position)...may be elswewhere they r a step ahead of this...n here we r a step behind
So once it has been established that homosexuals are "queer" , "peculiar", abnormal...unless n until one gives it a decent amt of thot and get a perception himself...he tends to go with the mob
Now here there mite be 3 sets of ppl..the ones who think sanely...those ones r sure to find homosexuality quite normal...then others who mite think..its sad that this chap is gay but am gonna be supportive...the rest..well..but theres no point really in worrying abt this class of ppl...not just here but in many other cases..from girls wearing skirts to muslims being eliminated from india...these ppl have weird ideologies...juss tell them "do i by any chance seem to give a damn to you...pl lemme know coz i dont like to give ppl wrong impressions"(sorry got a bit carried away...but can any1 identify for me who i am quoting here"
Its the 2nd class of ppl..confronting whom i guess is the most dufficult..coz its rather difficult for these ppl to go against the "laws"
I mean basically its difficult for ppl who have all their life been making jokes abt gays...or have been making fun of ppl calling them gays...to come to terms to with the actuality of it
Personally I think it is very very normal and i cant put it better than u did wen u said wen u wondered how something which is not a matter of choice be bad!!!
Ok I shud be writing blogs in my blogpage instaed of yours esply coz...mine has 0 posts!!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
F...U...C...K!!!.. that was twice the size of my blog! with comments like that..who needs a blog??
but yes I completely get wot ur saying and very well put indeed...(the part about the movies n all...really true)
And also i appreciate ur respecting my need for secrecy. Thank u..:)
wow....such comments...nw wat do i have to say--but then u talked abt da protagonist not being gay--well i have seen two moviez where da protagonist is gay--one being Philadelphia(*Tom Hanks*) and da oder i forget da name--and yaa...true for us da concept does sound eeky...i guess wid a homo beside me on a bus ride i wont b able to sleep lest his wandering hand finds entry to my pants--thats da notion that most of us have regarding homo's -- but then..am too naive to know anythin:)...so just ask ur frnd to live aish se...
as far as society is concerned, i doubt if it will mature enuff to accept such things....fingers crossed:)
Precisely what i was referring to!!...No harm intended..but this very attitude is the saddest part...what on earth is this notion abt gay guys hands all over ur pants...I mean tomorrow the ladies could come out and say...i find the thought of guys sitting next to me eeky..his hands mite be all over me if somehow i doze off...how is this any different...how vud we guys find it wen women say that...We are attracted to women the same way some men r attracted to men!!...now obviously it doesnt mean that we'd go arnd molesting women...and same is the case with homosexual men too...We have our self dignity they have theirs!!..The analogy exactly fits in...give it a thought!
As of now i cant react on philadelphia coz it happens to be one of the many movies i've always wanted to watch...n somehow dint!!
In any case there mite be exceptions..but the point was to send the messages across which i guess i did
Then of course u have issues like gay marriages and open gays not bein allowed to join into military...they r different issues altogether
In India though article 377 which says Homosexuality is illegal...is just ridiculous and absurd!!
Hey... I am quite fond of your blog, so plz do keep writing. About sexuality, hmm... yeah, I don't get why people have issues with homosexuality. It is absolutely beyond me.
I agree with you- I do believe that it is something like people's perception of left handers. In fact, Roman and Greek civilizations, or for that matter, even Hindu mythology has numerous examples of homosexuality. And whether it is a choice or something natural, who is anyone to impose his or her own beliefs on someone else? Let them live in peace, and really, they do not harm the world .00001 as much as the heterosexual idiots running around the globe do. So get a life and mind your own business is what I say to the homophobes. Incidentally, so many homophobes are actually gay or lesbian...
And as far as the choice to be homosexual goes, I don't think that it is a choice either...Coz think about it, why would someone WANT to be homosexual? Considering the condemnation that he or she would have to face? And yet, at the cost of being killed, homosexuality has persisted. I dunno if I made sense earlier, but what I was driving at was that homosexuality has always existed, and is found ever since the times of the Greek, Romans and even in the Upanishads (I just found that out).Hushing it up is a more recent phenomenon....
Thanks a ton! I wish people would leave comments more often if they do read and like my blog- so thank for doing so.
And about homosexuality- well I suppose at least there's a few of us that see it as it should be seen. Hopefully with time things will change for the better!
oh man!, I was just checking the blogs and found this, atleast i can leave some footprint over here, nice thoughts on homosexual, i dont thnk many dare to write that.
keep blogging,:)
@ dhanjay
Thanks! :)
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