For whom the school bell tolls
It’s that time of the year again, schools open their doors (just a crack mind you) to let in the new 3 year olds (as of March 31st of the previous year, I am told) welcoming them to the torture they will learn to enjoy over the next 14 years!
This year, our very own little Puchkit (my niece and the blog famous K’s sister) finds herself in the rat race, though of all those involved she seems the least affected and teaches the rest of us insecure, petty adults a lesson in life.
Now P is as cute as cute can be (and I don’t just say this because I am very biased). We can never tire of narrating anecdotes of her smartness and all those darned things that our kids say better than other people’s kids. However, the truth is, she is a sort of..err..a non conformer !
Not for her are the ABCD rhymes or numbers beyond 3, colours need no names and all the animals can easily be classified under dog, lion and snake – eliminating a lot of fuss.
Ask her however for an opinion on lunch and she will accurately tell you if it is undercooked, needs more salt or you over did the “ khatta” . If ever there was proof that food appreciation is a talent – it is she. Red maybe blue, 5 may come after 2- but little miss muffet can name 3 kinds of pasta, all the fruits and vegetables and is well versed with the edible varieties of mush-looms!
So here now, in a final effort my mother has been providing some intensive training to little it. Grand mama has started mumbling b-b-b-b-baaalll in her sleep now! Of course P loves the lessons- it is her turn to sit on the (quite tiny) BIG YELLOW table that used to be K’s privilege and get all Grand mama’s attention. Her School gives her worksheets involving writing alphabets- first it was I and T then L, H and T… B and D.. W and M..Q and R… with each worksheet we scratched our heads, looked from photostat sheet to Puckhit and from Puchkit to photostat sheet, trying to wonder if ever the twain shall meet. Then P invariably comes up with a ” lithen lithen, whel is the jhingalala lemote? “ (TATA Sky remote !!) and helplessly we put our doubts away and hail our very own genius, the apple of our eye.
So it was that in this new contraption- the easy wipe mini white board that kids use these days- grand mama would write letters and painstakingly call their name out repeatedly, trying to make it interesting by relating them to familiar objects.. the usual..M for m-m-m-monkey. And so after a week, proud grand mamma decided her pupil was ready to be shown off…
The family sat around after dinner and the slate was brought out. P was cajoled and fussed over as a celebrity ought before a big show. The first letter was written – T- promptly puchkit says..Tiger!!- Which we loyal admirers recognize as T and applaud. The applause goes down well with Puchkit and she settles down for a long performance. T is erased and C is written… P scratches her head. Grand mama raises her eyebrows in hints.. trying as hard as she can to telepathically transfer the answer to P. She then mouths C… P misreads and loudly says.. T !!!...
“ no no no “ says GM (grand mamma),” half a…”
P faithfully repeats- “ half a.......”
GM tries again : Half a c-c-c-c
P : c-c-c-
GM : Half a circ-
P: half a circ- what is it? U tell me!!!
GM: half a circle
P: C !!!!!!!!!
GM : VERY GOOOD!!!...throws a proud look around the room
Thankfully the audience is a loving family and cheers enthusiastically
Next letter
L
GM : And what is this???
P: Lollipop Lavanya !!!
GM: yes yes, very good..I teach her L for Lavanya and L for lollipop, na? that’s why..she got it. She got it right!
And so it went.. ‘I’ was recognized immediately and the other letters well- usually the 4th time round it was right! And four times is fair…
No doubt if the schools have an interview P is ready. Perhaps though, we ought to send grand mama’s notes along to the teachers there. After all, they may not know the correct cues and may probably not be aware that lollipop lavanaya is an acceptable euphemism for L!
The process is now actually an improvement!
Pressure from beleaguered parents, (not so) stray accusations of corruptions and orders from the high court has forced schools to put in a transparent system of admissions in place. Kids may no longer be interviewed and neither may the parents. However, most schools still hold an “ informal interaction” with kids and their parents… and we all know what that means! ( Beta, what colour is mama wearing? How old are you? 3 years old!!?? And what comes after 3 ? )
Schools have an elaborate points system in place. There are points for proximity to school, alumni parents and student siblings. Points for girl children and for single parents. Some over enthusiastic schools have essay type questions for the parents to fill out not a far cry from an SOP.
Points are awarded, cut- offs are decided, and lists are displayed. Anxious parents revisit their “ board exam” days as they anxiously scan the lists. As usual there are some with good news- who visit Nirula’s right after for some well earned HCF and there are those who come home to cry on the telephones.
Imagine how bleak the future is for a first born male child in a happy family with no alumni parents and no good neighborhood school- the parents might consider a temporary divorce- just till their tot gets admission of course!
The thing is, parents asked for this, and one has to admit it is an improvement- even if that forms a very unfortunate reality- and this in the capital city of our great country, that is clearly going to rule this century!
At any rate, the ordeal will be over- for better or for worse- in a few weeks. What I will take away from this is the lesson I learned from Puchkit about how to stay above these absurd rat races that life scatters in our paths and remember to keep living life and enjoying it – whether it is by eating cleam clackers while watching tom and jelly or enjoying a chat with friends and curling up at night with a good book.
P.B: keep watching for more. next blog: interesting nursery interviews- Contributions are welcome
This year, our very own little Puchkit (my niece and the blog famous K’s sister) finds herself in the rat race, though of all those involved she seems the least affected and teaches the rest of us insecure, petty adults a lesson in life.
Now P is as cute as cute can be (and I don’t just say this because I am very biased). We can never tire of narrating anecdotes of her smartness and all those darned things that our kids say better than other people’s kids. However, the truth is, she is a sort of..err..a non conformer !
Not for her are the ABCD rhymes or numbers beyond 3, colours need no names and all the animals can easily be classified under dog, lion and snake – eliminating a lot of fuss.
Ask her however for an opinion on lunch and she will accurately tell you if it is undercooked, needs more salt or you over did the “ khatta” . If ever there was proof that food appreciation is a talent – it is she. Red maybe blue, 5 may come after 2- but little miss muffet can name 3 kinds of pasta, all the fruits and vegetables and is well versed with the edible varieties of mush-looms!
So here now, in a final effort my mother has been providing some intensive training to little it. Grand mama has started mumbling b-b-b-b-baaalll in her sleep now! Of course P loves the lessons- it is her turn to sit on the (quite tiny) BIG YELLOW table that used to be K’s privilege and get all Grand mama’s attention. Her School gives her worksheets involving writing alphabets- first it was I and T then L, H and T… B and D.. W and M..Q and R… with each worksheet we scratched our heads, looked from photostat sheet to Puckhit and from Puchkit to photostat sheet, trying to wonder if ever the twain shall meet. Then P invariably comes up with a ” lithen lithen, whel is the jhingalala lemote? “ (TATA Sky remote !!) and helplessly we put our doubts away and hail our very own genius, the apple of our eye.
So it was that in this new contraption- the easy wipe mini white board that kids use these days- grand mama would write letters and painstakingly call their name out repeatedly, trying to make it interesting by relating them to familiar objects.. the usual..M for m-m-m-monkey. And so after a week, proud grand mamma decided her pupil was ready to be shown off…
The family sat around after dinner and the slate was brought out. P was cajoled and fussed over as a celebrity ought before a big show. The first letter was written – T- promptly puchkit says..Tiger!!- Which we loyal admirers recognize as T and applaud. The applause goes down well with Puchkit and she settles down for a long performance. T is erased and C is written… P scratches her head. Grand mama raises her eyebrows in hints.. trying as hard as she can to telepathically transfer the answer to P. She then mouths C… P misreads and loudly says.. T !!!...
“ no no no “ says GM (grand mamma),” half a…”
P faithfully repeats- “ half a.......”
GM tries again : Half a c-c-c-c
P : c-c-c-
GM : Half a circ-
P: half a circ- what is it? U tell me!!!
GM: half a circle
P: C !!!!!!!!!
GM : VERY GOOOD!!!...throws a proud look around the room
Thankfully the audience is a loving family and cheers enthusiastically
Next letter
L
GM : And what is this???
P: Lollipop Lavanya !!!
GM: yes yes, very good..I teach her L for Lavanya and L for lollipop, na? that’s why..she got it. She got it right!
And so it went.. ‘I’ was recognized immediately and the other letters well- usually the 4th time round it was right! And four times is fair…
No doubt if the schools have an interview P is ready. Perhaps though, we ought to send grand mama’s notes along to the teachers there. After all, they may not know the correct cues and may probably not be aware that lollipop lavanaya is an acceptable euphemism for L!
The process is now actually an improvement!
Pressure from beleaguered parents, (not so) stray accusations of corruptions and orders from the high court has forced schools to put in a transparent system of admissions in place. Kids may no longer be interviewed and neither may the parents. However, most schools still hold an “ informal interaction” with kids and their parents… and we all know what that means! ( Beta, what colour is mama wearing? How old are you? 3 years old!!?? And what comes after 3 ? )
Schools have an elaborate points system in place. There are points for proximity to school, alumni parents and student siblings. Points for girl children and for single parents. Some over enthusiastic schools have essay type questions for the parents to fill out not a far cry from an SOP.
Points are awarded, cut- offs are decided, and lists are displayed. Anxious parents revisit their “ board exam” days as they anxiously scan the lists. As usual there are some with good news- who visit Nirula’s right after for some well earned HCF and there are those who come home to cry on the telephones.
Imagine how bleak the future is for a first born male child in a happy family with no alumni parents and no good neighborhood school- the parents might consider a temporary divorce- just till their tot gets admission of course!
The thing is, parents asked for this, and one has to admit it is an improvement- even if that forms a very unfortunate reality- and this in the capital city of our great country, that is clearly going to rule this century!
At any rate, the ordeal will be over- for better or for worse- in a few weeks. What I will take away from this is the lesson I learned from Puchkit about how to stay above these absurd rat races that life scatters in our paths and remember to keep living life and enjoying it – whether it is by eating cleam clackers while watching tom and jelly or enjoying a chat with friends and curling up at night with a good book.
P.B: keep watching for more. next blog: interesting nursery interviews- Contributions are welcome
posted by inconsequential at 12:29 pm
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